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So sudden, absurd and unfair. Mom was never the same again after Dad's death. She threw herself in her work as a doctor, taking on more and more responsibility at the clinic. She did her best to put up a brave face with us k**s, but her grief was always right beneath the surface, her former spontaneous cheerfulness dead and gone with the love of her life. Me and Didi still shared a bedroom back then. For quite some time, my little sister had the most awful nightmares, so bad in fact that she'd wake up crying in the middle of the night, sobbing desperately into her pillow. I was having trouble sleeping myself after Dad's death, so I heard Didi cry in her sleep almost every night. Other times, I would wake up to the desolate sound of her sighs. I always shuddered with horror hearing that. Knowing that Didi was so sad in the dark was unbearable to me. Her pain seemed to hurt me even more that my own. In retrospect, I think she felt guilty because she had got in a minor fight with Dad. After a while i went to the toilet to clean myself up. I was very sore and still bleeding slighly, plus id got this white liquid running from my vagina, unkown to me my cousin had broke me in and took my virginity from me.The day after nothing was said between us, but he did keep looking and staring at me. After a few times my cousin John kept coming into my bedroom having sex with me, eventually i got to like it and started having orgasms myself and even at times i got on top of him, we even did oral sex with each other at times, he had to show me how to do it, but i soon got the hang of it. He never used a condom with me until one day i started my period, then once i told him about my period, he started to wear a comdom with me. My cousin also had a steady girlfriend at the time all this was going on, which i found a turn on for me, because even though he was seeing her, he was still having sex and doing things with me also, unknown to her, he would even tell me the things he.
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